i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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