we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize