i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
