Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
