so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
