Whod you bang
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
