North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
