Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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