I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
