she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
