...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
