then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
His nipple licking is glorious
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