Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
