every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize