i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
