Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
