PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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