I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize