If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
