hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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