Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
