i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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