I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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