That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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