We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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