Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
