I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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