do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wanna go halves on a baby?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
