I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
