I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
