I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
