A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
