Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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