please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
