all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
