Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize