Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
