loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
