VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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