Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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