Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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