Duck Duck Cougar?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They took my balls.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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