I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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