I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize