i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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