Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
