after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
