I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize