I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
barbara walters just said penis...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize