Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
