woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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