I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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