We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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