I wish i was in the wii world.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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