She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
