idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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