Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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